SHANG FUCKING HAI

I know i havnt blogged in a while but the last 3 weeks have been pretty mental and varied and it all started of in the 'International City' of Shanghai.l

We got the sleeper from xi'an and got our hostel which wasnt central but at the same time wasnt out in the sticks, but quickly went to the french quarter to eat some central asian food. whcih was niice on the way back to the hostel we called up dave (the bisexual aussie we met in guangzhou) to arange a night out on the town, we went to a nice little veggie restaurant with him, his mate james who was staying at the same hostel as us, and this english girl called rebecca who was learning chinese for her gap year. afterwards we went to a bar called windows 2 which was a hiphop place full of cunts (yet we did go there another time but i talk about that later...) just an example f teh cuntiness, a guy came up to me and told me i had to put my jacket behind the bar but then said in reference to pierre and dave said 'tell ur buddies, that if they want to come to a place like this lose the collared shirts and the sweaters' cunt. thge most interesting paret of teh night thougfh was doing KTV (kareoke). kareoke in china isnt like back home, u go up to what looks like a hiogh class brothel and they take u to a room and give you some beers and u rent out that room for however long and just sing the songs on a sofa with ur mates. teh weird thing about it though is that the chinese just get so absolutely shitfaced. in the time while i was taking a piss 3 different guys ran in to the toilet cubicles and threw up. the coridors are also crowded with chinese in the middle of a session of debauchery. yeh it was fun.

2nd day we went to pudong which is like china's pride and joy, theyre trying to make a skyline to rival taipei and hong kong, and it will... in about a million years, we wentr up the jimnau tower whicj is currently the tallest building in china but next door theyre buildiung a bigger one, it was shit as well cos there was no real veiwng terrace, u were just looking out of a window. after walking around pudong for a bit i bought some flipflops and pierre stole some sunglasses from H&M the shop thats been loyal to him for so long.we then got the bund sight seeing tunnelwhich if my camera cvomes back from the desert u'll see it was possibly the weirdest thing that side of tiannanmen. then we just went and took some more disrespectful photos by historical sights. that night we just relaxed with a few beers at the hostel. and i played pool with some guys from chile, a not veruy interesting day overall.

the third day we just walked ariound teh centre of town havingf chatrs with the locals which is always funny. 'Are you two brothers?' 'you are very handsome' 'your are very fashionable' we also went to the city museum where the book says u should spend a whole day in butr we though it was shit town so we spent 30 minutes in it, it was free afterall. pierre thought the best thing about it was the toilet - european and toilet paper. that night we met up with dave and his french female mate who was pretty buff but she was like 24 and in a relationship, we went for dinner at a noodle place and then she went home and me pierre and dave went to teh french quarter to go clubbing. the club was good, especially for a tuesday (or whatever day it was) night, lots of hot women. what we found out was that they were cock teases, so i just danced the night away and pierre got off with there ugly mate (in fairness she weasnt that ugly) dave got cock teased by a bloke which was funny as well. the taxi home that night hurt as well, cos no matter how good my mando is caoyang road is a long fucking street and me and pierre fell asleep in teh back of the taxi and ended up paying 50 fucking cwai.

are last day i9n shangers was probably the most mental, i wanted to go on the maglev but i went to take out some money 1700 cwai but the bank didnt give me the cash but took teh money out of my account then HSBC froze my card. so i had no money for about 2 days, we did nothing all day because we were feeling how i feel now, very tired and a bit nausious but that night was mental. we went out with this manc guy called rob from our room who was travelling before going to live in new zealand. had a few beers and went to a club, funnily enough, called M2. it was full of 6 foot tall russian, models/prostitutes and there were 2 beauties going round the club poring sour apple into your mouth. the mujsic was quite good. thats one thing you get in the clubs in china, although the ppl cant dance for shit the djs are mostly pretty decent. after realising we didnt have a chance with ANY of the women there went to windows to try and get some chinese b-girls. i started dancing with this girl but she was just another cocktease, meanwhile pierre went back to a 24 hour diner that we went to earlier for dinner to catch the arsenal liverpool game. rob was getting with some butters chinese woman and saw i was in dismay so he called me over. get with her friend he says, equally butters but shorter and nicer arse, better for dancing. her mouth tasted funny. pierre says hep B. hgahahahajh. rob left and was like give me 2 hours, bullshit mor eliek 10 minutes, and my girl was like we go home now, and you know that feeling when ur heart hurts the morniung after when ur full of regret from the night before. my heart hurt then. so i said i'm going to teh toilet BUT she thought i was saying lets leave, fuck fuck fuck, run to teh toilet, run and got my jacket, ran out the club down the stairs took and left and ran for 5 minutes. SAFE. watched teh second half of teh gam,e with pierre over soem 3am scrambled eggs. after the game we back to windows for some early morning hip hop sessions then gotr the first tube home. luckily rob had finished. 'where's ur girl?' 'erm, i ran away'