Mongolia was cool. it was definately a place wher once u reflect on it it seems a lot better than it seemed at the time. First of all the cheapness compared to russia hurts when you think about it. The people that we met and went to the gobi with were really cool and the people who owned our guesthouse were really nice and friendly and it had stuff to do. on a day like today where we find ourselves not doing much i could easily go to the internet cafe for a good couple of hours and not worry about spending too much miney because it was 25p as opposed to a quid 50 per hour in irkutsk. the food was also tasty and cheap and the girls were so buff, i think thats an accumilation of the yellow fever we picked up in china coupled with the fact that mongolians are generally better looking than the chinese, i mean when we went to metro for the second time the absolutely amazingly peng women to people ration was probably the highest level in a club i have ever seen ever.
i think i could have easily spent another 5 or so days in UB and i wasnt overly happy to leave but that was because of Bama (refer to previous post) and teh gobi was a memorable experience, but overall i didnt enjoy mongolia as much as china.
STANDINGS
MATT: 6 pulls, 1 gf
PIERRE 5 pulls, 1 bang.
NB no matter what number of pulls or bangs numbers still refer to amount of girls included in said action..
Showing posts with label mongolia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mongolia. Show all posts
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Bama
I got my second 'i'll remember you forever/never forget you' along those lines of the holiday teh day i left mongolia but this time it wasn't some text message from a sixteen year old who's bean i'd flicked, no, it was my mongolian girlfriend.
if you read my last post, you will know i got the number of some mongolian girl in metro. well we were texting eachoher for a few days and in the end we went for a dtae, she picked me up in her car and we went driving around ulaanbaatar by night her showing me her hometown she loved and all teh places where she hangs out. we pulled by teh monestry, by the soviet monument, by the buddha, and before i left.
when i woke up the next the morning i realised that i had left my phone in her car. teh next bit makes me seem like a bit of a stalker but she told me where abouts she lived and i knew it was her day off that day so i found her car, looked through the window found saw my phone and waited.. for 3 hours, i stopped for refreshments and lunch. the reason was that if there was any missed calls or texts messages and she found it first it would say i recieved a text from 'mongolia bitch'. unsupriosingly she was like 'hello?' and i explained she gave me a lift home and all was bless.
a couple of nights later we met up again and this time we went for a meal afterwards we started driving around town again but i was just like do u want to go to that bridge that was being repaired and started getting off in her car again, she was like do u want to go to the backseat and i was like 'OK then!' i tell u mates it was like being 15 again getting off with someone for so long that you get tired, i even got to top her, cool.
the next time i met her was at metro again but she seemed a bit flakey so i just enjoyed the music (which seemed to be exactly the same playlist as the last friday) and the atmosphere. pierre left early cos he was getting no play from the ladies. i left with Bama and her mate and there mate gave us a lift home, i got off with her in the backseat drunkenly singing along to sexual eruption.
the last day in Ub was probably the nicest because i had lunch with and then spent the day with my mongolian honey as she was then saved as under in my phone. we went out of town to the forest and sat amongst the trees, we then went and sat by the buddha statue which we had gone to in the first night, when she was dropping me off we had one last pulling session in her car and i was like lets get out and have a hug.
this is when she said to me 'i'll never forget you' and hopefully i'll never forget her, it also made me abit sad cos i was like i'll see you when u coime to london, cos she wants to do a bit of studying over here maybe and she was liek 'yeh, i wish'. if it wasnt for her i think my time in UB would have been as bad as Pierre's (although we both agree that Ub is far better than the hellhole that is Siberia). Spending time with her broke up the monotony of our 10 day stay in the least photogenic capital city of the world, and on top of that she was cute funny, clever. she also taught me lots about Ub like what was what and who was who like the rich cunt in the big escalade pick up with gold rims who always had the best parking spot infornt of the doors at metro who was liek, 'hey man you want some drugs i got aalllllllll the drugs', was infact the son of a member of parliament.
I havnt told pierre all this because he would take the piss and i know you guys will as well but i'm at least 8,000 miles away from any of you. her favourite song was outta my system by Bowwow and thats what this blog is for to get her out of my system (hopefully with the help of some russian beanies) also fair enough i didnt bang her, but how many of you bang ur girlfriends within the first week of the relationship , actually, dont answer that...
Bama, thank you.
if you read my last post, you will know i got the number of some mongolian girl in metro. well we were texting eachoher for a few days and in the end we went for a dtae, she picked me up in her car and we went driving around ulaanbaatar by night her showing me her hometown she loved and all teh places where she hangs out. we pulled by teh monestry, by the soviet monument, by the buddha, and before i left.
when i woke up the next the morning i realised that i had left my phone in her car. teh next bit makes me seem like a bit of a stalker but she told me where abouts she lived and i knew it was her day off that day so i found her car, looked through the window found saw my phone and waited.. for 3 hours, i stopped for refreshments and lunch. the reason was that if there was any missed calls or texts messages and she found it first it would say i recieved a text from 'mongolia bitch'. unsupriosingly she was like 'hello?' and i explained she gave me a lift home and all was bless.
a couple of nights later we met up again and this time we went for a meal afterwards we started driving around town again but i was just like do u want to go to that bridge that was being repaired and started getting off in her car again, she was like do u want to go to the backseat and i was like 'OK then!' i tell u mates it was like being 15 again getting off with someone for so long that you get tired, i even got to top her, cool.
the next time i met her was at metro again but she seemed a bit flakey so i just enjoyed the music (which seemed to be exactly the same playlist as the last friday) and the atmosphere. pierre left early cos he was getting no play from the ladies. i left with Bama and her mate and there mate gave us a lift home, i got off with her in the backseat drunkenly singing along to sexual eruption.
the last day in Ub was probably the nicest because i had lunch with and then spent the day with my mongolian honey as she was then saved as under in my phone. we went out of town to the forest and sat amongst the trees, we then went and sat by the buddha statue which we had gone to in the first night, when she was dropping me off we had one last pulling session in her car and i was like lets get out and have a hug.
this is when she said to me 'i'll never forget you' and hopefully i'll never forget her, it also made me abit sad cos i was like i'll see you when u coime to london, cos she wants to do a bit of studying over here maybe and she was liek 'yeh, i wish'. if it wasnt for her i think my time in UB would have been as bad as Pierre's (although we both agree that Ub is far better than the hellhole that is Siberia). Spending time with her broke up the monotony of our 10 day stay in the least photogenic capital city of the world, and on top of that she was cute funny, clever. she also taught me lots about Ub like what was what and who was who like the rich cunt in the big escalade pick up with gold rims who always had the best parking spot infornt of the doors at metro who was liek, 'hey man you want some drugs i got aalllllllll the drugs', was infact the son of a member of parliament.
I havnt told pierre all this because he would take the piss and i know you guys will as well but i'm at least 8,000 miles away from any of you. her favourite song was outta my system by Bowwow and thats what this blog is for to get her out of my system (hopefully with the help of some russian beanies) also fair enough i didnt bang her, but how many of you bang ur girlfriends within the first week of the relationship , actually, dont answer that...
Bama, thank you.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Going insane in Ulaanbaatar
The novelty of the Big City Life war off in about 36 hours after we had eaten 4 or so proper meals. we quickly came to realise that we needed to get out of there but with our only option until the 27th beng to get on another tour (which involved having to pack and, of course, money) we ended up staying put.
our first night in town me, pierre, paul and craig went out to a few bars where and then headed to teh best club in town called Metropolis, or 'Metro' as the locals called it. it was a thursday night so after being there for about 45 minutes the music stopped (at 2). the lads started chatting with these mongolian gangsters and i went over to the girl who'd been giving me eyes since we'd been there. i didnt quite catch her name but she was like 'i like you can i have your number?' at this point i bring out teh cheese and say 'no you cant only until you give me a kiss' the genius ploy worked and i gave her my number and she went home cos she had to start work at 9 the next day. i went back to the guys and they were still chattin getting some free vodka, i started trying to chat in russian to there ukranian friend but he preferred for some reason to speak in french. the fat mongolian guy who pierre paul and craig were talking to kept calling me iranian so i told him why i was dark skinned and later on when he asked me why my trousers so low i said thats the style, and he replied 'oh thats so nigger!' cunt. one of women asked me where i was from and said england 'but you are dark skinned' 'yeh i'm part african' 'oh, you are very handsome' - i think she was a hooker though. outside i challenged one of them for a wrestle, the fat mongolia pulled down my pants that were showing i went to adjust them and duly lost, then teh gangsters invited us back to there hotel but we didnt want to get robbed and raped.
next morning i woke up quite early to fins some peng french woman in my room, i put my headphones to chill out with some music and admired her massive boobies. then i got a text! 2 things made me laugh histerically recieving worried looks from the french bird. the first thing was the text said MORNING PRETTTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!!! the second thing was that i had saved teh girl on my phone as 'Mongolia Bitch'. that breakfast even though i wasnt that hungr i stayed and ate with teh french girl just cos all you want when ur hungover are some nice boobies. a side effect of this was that in order to not look weird and act as if i was just sitting there to be with her, i made 4 cups of coffee and trhe result is evident in my post for shanghai. my attention span for teh rest of that day was about 2 seconds. Paul left us that morning, probably the cleverest move out of all of us, the whole week previous we had been taking the piss saying that after 7 days in a car he would immediately be doing 5 days on the train, but he had the last laugh.
otherwise in Ub we didnt do much, we found ourselves in metro the next night surrounded by infinite amounts of beautiful women all cockteases, we met some russian students who wanted us to meet up with them later but i had my beanie and pierre couldnt be bothered. we spent most of our days drinking coca-cola and playing counter strike, watching prettymuch teh entire hostel dvd collection, we checked out a few sites like the black market, the dinosaur museum and i checked out the main monastry in town, but otherwise it was just the same feeling of dispair everyday waking up in the same bed being. having such a repetitive cycle of soing nothing tends to make yopu go crazy and i'm not talking the MC Verse sense of the phrase. Steve the big canadian, who went to moscow on the tuesday was already feeling it and he was only in Ub for 4 days, we were there for 10.
I leave you with a song:
"QUE SERA, SERA. WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE. WE'RE STUCK IN FUCKING UB. QUE SERA, SERA..."
our first night in town me, pierre, paul and craig went out to a few bars where and then headed to teh best club in town called Metropolis, or 'Metro' as the locals called it. it was a thursday night so after being there for about 45 minutes the music stopped (at 2). the lads started chatting with these mongolian gangsters and i went over to the girl who'd been giving me eyes since we'd been there. i didnt quite catch her name but she was like 'i like you can i have your number?' at this point i bring out teh cheese and say 'no you cant only until you give me a kiss' the genius ploy worked and i gave her my number and she went home cos she had to start work at 9 the next day. i went back to the guys and they were still chattin getting some free vodka, i started trying to chat in russian to there ukranian friend but he preferred for some reason to speak in french. the fat mongolian guy who pierre paul and craig were talking to kept calling me iranian so i told him why i was dark skinned and later on when he asked me why my trousers so low i said thats the style, and he replied 'oh thats so nigger!' cunt. one of women asked me where i was from and said england 'but you are dark skinned' 'yeh i'm part african' 'oh, you are very handsome' - i think she was a hooker though. outside i challenged one of them for a wrestle, the fat mongolia pulled down my pants that were showing i went to adjust them and duly lost, then teh gangsters invited us back to there hotel but we didnt want to get robbed and raped.
next morning i woke up quite early to fins some peng french woman in my room, i put my headphones to chill out with some music and admired her massive boobies. then i got a text! 2 things made me laugh histerically recieving worried looks from the french bird. the first thing was the text said MORNING PRETTTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!!!! the second thing was that i had saved teh girl on my phone as 'Mongolia Bitch'. that breakfast even though i wasnt that hungr i stayed and ate with teh french girl just cos all you want when ur hungover are some nice boobies. a side effect of this was that in order to not look weird and act as if i was just sitting there to be with her, i made 4 cups of coffee and trhe result is evident in my post for shanghai. my attention span for teh rest of that day was about 2 seconds. Paul left us that morning, probably the cleverest move out of all of us, the whole week previous we had been taking the piss saying that after 7 days in a car he would immediately be doing 5 days on the train, but he had the last laugh.
otherwise in Ub we didnt do much, we found ourselves in metro the next night surrounded by infinite amounts of beautiful women all cockteases, we met some russian students who wanted us to meet up with them later but i had my beanie and pierre couldnt be bothered. we spent most of our days drinking coca-cola and playing counter strike, watching prettymuch teh entire hostel dvd collection, we checked out a few sites like the black market, the dinosaur museum and i checked out the main monastry in town, but otherwise it was just the same feeling of dispair everyday waking up in the same bed being. having such a repetitive cycle of soing nothing tends to make yopu go crazy and i'm not talking the MC Verse sense of the phrase. Steve the big canadian, who went to moscow on the tuesday was already feeling it and he was only in Ub for 4 days, we were there for 10.
I leave you with a song:
"QUE SERA, SERA. WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE. WE'RE STUCK IN FUCKING UB. QUE SERA, SERA..."
Friday, April 25, 2008
gobi.
i never really knew what to expect from the desert, apparently its what experts call a cold desert so what, am i expecting ice? nope, the woman at our hostel in Ub says if u sleep on the ground ur friend will be putting you in the back of the van the next day. what does that even mean. there are no supermarkets, no showers, no electricity she continues. ok i'll just take a fuck load of munch and a few changes of warm clothes (my first day outfit was winter jacket, shorts and tights).
when our car arrived we realised to our pleasure that we were to be driving around teh desert in a converted 4x4 soviet ambulance, part of Mr Kim's fleet of 8 or summit like that. teh sesat werre fairly comfy and i driver looked like a socialble enough guy, even if his english was limited. because victoria suffers from travel sickness she sat in the front by the driver, swo teh back 5 seat that all faced eachother were left for the lads. apart from me and pierre and steve we were joined by athis guy called paul, who used to sell internet advertising from his bosses house in barnsbury and craig who works in something to do in computing in cambridge.
teh 5 of us made a pretty varied group which didnt limit the conversation which was very good indeed as we were driving for up to 7 hours everyday. every night we stayed in a nomadic family's spare ger and they provided us with dinner and breakfast. dinner was usually very limited, most of the time for the meat eaters it was mutton and rice and the mutton was usually replaced by mushrooms for me, but a few times i just got rice with ketchup or something that resembled gruel. at night we mostly just played cards and drank vodka and went to be pretty early , because in most places a lack of electricty tends to limit your nightime activity, the actual family's ger was usually equipped with solar panel and satellite dish so they were living the highlife.
most days we were just visiting 'rock formations' but the best days were the 4th and 5th, where after staying teh night in the 'city' of dalanzagdag (one road,. lots of gers) where we got the best food, we went into teh national park where we say an ice waterfall, (which was pretty impressive as i havnt seen that many non-ice waterfalls either) then we had a walkj down an ice valley. that night we satyed by teh sand dunes in our own ger - the family cooked us dinner then fucked off, so we made a camp fire. and took lots of long exposure photos. the next morning we finally got to ride some camels and rode them up to teh sand dunes which we then climbed up. unfortunatel if u dont have a sandboard of some sort of sled or disc then you cant slide down them which would have been fun. when we got back down our camel guides invited us for a wrestle, 2 of teh three mongolians i have wrestled to and lost to to date. and then a steve, craig, pierre and victoria did a bit of rigged camel racing, which made our guide a few thousand togrogs.
on the 2 day drive back to UB from the sand dunes a few of us started to go mad, steve especially, it was his turn to ride backwards and he didnt really want to see anymore desert, he was getting a bit annoyed at craig as well, lets just say there personalities clashed a bit. paul kept us entertained with his stories and sexual escapades, as well as all his different uses of slang, steve also kept us entertained with his 'non' sex-tourist stories of thailand. he's not really but it was fun to wind him up about it.
when we finally hit tarmack again just outside UB we thought we had finally made it but we went over one bump to many and our accelerater cable snapped, baira our driver though just got soime wire and tied it back together, the genius. everyone was happy to get back to teh comforts of the city and wash, (pierre had been wearing the same clothes for 7 days) and we all went and had a pizza and went out that night.
when our car arrived we realised to our pleasure that we were to be driving around teh desert in a converted 4x4 soviet ambulance, part of Mr Kim's fleet of 8 or summit like that. teh sesat werre fairly comfy and i driver looked like a socialble enough guy, even if his english was limited. because victoria suffers from travel sickness she sat in the front by the driver, swo teh back 5 seat that all faced eachother were left for the lads. apart from me and pierre and steve we were joined by athis guy called paul, who used to sell internet advertising from his bosses house in barnsbury and craig who works in something to do in computing in cambridge.
teh 5 of us made a pretty varied group which didnt limit the conversation which was very good indeed as we were driving for up to 7 hours everyday. every night we stayed in a nomadic family's spare ger and they provided us with dinner and breakfast. dinner was usually very limited, most of the time for the meat eaters it was mutton and rice and the mutton was usually replaced by mushrooms for me, but a few times i just got rice with ketchup or something that resembled gruel. at night we mostly just played cards and drank vodka and went to be pretty early , because in most places a lack of electricty tends to limit your nightime activity, the actual family's ger was usually equipped with solar panel and satellite dish so they were living the highlife.
most days we were just visiting 'rock formations' but the best days were the 4th and 5th, where after staying teh night in the 'city' of dalanzagdag (one road,. lots of gers) where we got the best food, we went into teh national park where we say an ice waterfall, (which was pretty impressive as i havnt seen that many non-ice waterfalls either) then we had a walkj down an ice valley. that night we satyed by teh sand dunes in our own ger - the family cooked us dinner then fucked off, so we made a camp fire. and took lots of long exposure photos. the next morning we finally got to ride some camels and rode them up to teh sand dunes which we then climbed up. unfortunatel if u dont have a sandboard of some sort of sled or disc then you cant slide down them which would have been fun. when we got back down our camel guides invited us for a wrestle, 2 of teh three mongolians i have wrestled to and lost to to date. and then a steve, craig, pierre and victoria did a bit of rigged camel racing, which made our guide a few thousand togrogs.
on the 2 day drive back to UB from the sand dunes a few of us started to go mad, steve especially, it was his turn to ride backwards and he didnt really want to see anymore desert, he was getting a bit annoyed at craig as well, lets just say there personalities clashed a bit. paul kept us entertained with his stories and sexual escapades, as well as all his different uses of slang, steve also kept us entertained with his 'non' sex-tourist stories of thailand. he's not really but it was fun to wind him up about it.
when we finally hit tarmack again just outside UB we thought we had finally made it but we went over one bump to many and our accelerater cable snapped, baira our driver though just got soime wire and tied it back together, the genius. everyone was happy to get back to teh comforts of the city and wash, (pierre had been wearing the same clothes for 7 days) and we all went and had a pizza and went out that night.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Arrival Mongolia
Our first leg of the trans siberian was a cold one. the compartments are 4-berth and have a door but they are no more comfortable than the chinese trains. after not much sleep the night before dur the eary wake we spent off the day sleeping, which actually on a train like that, especially when the views outside are shit (it was our worst day weather-wise since we had arrived in china, and northern china near the mongolian border is a shithole anyway...). it was soooo cold as well, thge 2 sheets and blanket provided werent enough. the worst part about the train ride was the border crossing which took a total of 5 hours. The chinese one took longer but the mongolian one was at 2 in the morning so i dont know whcih one i liked least. what was good which i was getting worried about was that they would go through my bags and find my piece of the great wall (apparently your not aloud to steal bits of national monuments).
When we woke up teh next day we found ourselves in a completely different landscape, dominated by browns and oranges. and barely anything to be seen for miles. we were in mongolia alright. we were supposedly 4 hours behind schedule but i saw a growing number of concrete houses approaching so i was like to pierre, i think we're here, and he's like no we're too early but secretly starts packing away. slowly but surely we pull into a station in the middle of a city and pierre's like 'this cant be ulaanbataar' ULAANBATAAR!' the conductor calls out almost immediately but he doesnt care he's packed, ive got all my shit evrywhere so i just put it into one big bundle and and packed up on the platform - didnt even loose anything. the people who owned the hostel we were to stay at came and picked us up from the station along with the other 20 or so people on the train who were also staying there. as soon as we arrived th ehostel owner kim started selling one of his tours and tried to get out to go the next day but we all wanted to chill out and decided to go the day after. that night we went to the pub with a few people that we'd met in beijing, steve a 'large set smoker' from canada and paul (some guy from morecombe, and the guys who we planned to go the gobi with (steve is included in said group as well). from first impressions they all seemed like pretty cool guys and i that impression didnt really change that much.
the next day me and pierre wandered around the town visiting the parliament building and the main square. we got our food supllies for the desert (much of which we still have left because bobby, the lady from the hostel exaggerated the lack of quality and under-abundance of food in the desert, we're still eating from it now, 6 days after returning) i also bought some gloves and tights. that night we went for one last good meal in the local irish pub which serves delicious food, and had a relitevly early night before we went to the gobi the following morning.
When we woke up teh next day we found ourselves in a completely different landscape, dominated by browns and oranges. and barely anything to be seen for miles. we were in mongolia alright. we were supposedly 4 hours behind schedule but i saw a growing number of concrete houses approaching so i was like to pierre, i think we're here, and he's like no we're too early but secretly starts packing away. slowly but surely we pull into a station in the middle of a city and pierre's like 'this cant be ulaanbataar' ULAANBATAAR!' the conductor calls out almost immediately but he doesnt care he's packed, ive got all my shit evrywhere so i just put it into one big bundle and and packed up on the platform - didnt even loose anything. the people who owned the hostel we were to stay at came and picked us up from the station along with the other 20 or so people on the train who were also staying there. as soon as we arrived th ehostel owner kim started selling one of his tours and tried to get out to go the next day but we all wanted to chill out and decided to go the day after. that night we went to the pub with a few people that we'd met in beijing, steve a 'large set smoker' from canada and paul (some guy from morecombe, and the guys who we planned to go the gobi with (steve is included in said group as well). from first impressions they all seemed like pretty cool guys and i that impression didnt really change that much.
the next day me and pierre wandered around the town visiting the parliament building and the main square. we got our food supllies for the desert (much of which we still have left because bobby, the lady from the hostel exaggerated the lack of quality and under-abundance of food in the desert, we're still eating from it now, 6 days after returning) i also bought some gloves and tights. that night we went for one last good meal in the local irish pub which serves delicious food, and had a relitevly early night before we went to the gobi the following morning.
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