Macacacacacacau

Going to Macau was a big thing for me cos when i was a wee lad my mum would always ppoint it out to me as one of the last remenents of Portugal's once great coastal empire. I never knew anything about it, what it was famous for, why Portugal had kept it all these years but i always knew that it was there and that one day i was gonna go there.

Whilst i was in Hong Kong i was reading about it and was fascinated by its history in becoming the first real trade hub between china and the west. for centuries it lasted like this until the opium wars in the late 19th century resulted in hong kong being handed over to the british which really fucked it up. After about a century of decline Macau started setting up its super casinos and now its fucking sick! anyway enough of the history lets hit the nitty gritty....

we had been chatting about macau to some guy in our first hostel and he recommended a place for us to stay if we wanted a bit of luxury after the shitty little hostel we had in hong kong. when we arrived by the ferry we got in the taxi and the taxi drivers dont even know the street names in portuguese. which is ridiculous seeing as this place has been portuguese for 500 years so everything has portuguese names but the chinese give them different names. bizarre. anyway, we eventually get there - a place called villa universal on rua felicidade, it was ALRIGHT, the guy overcooked his description of it a bit but it was nice - 2 single beds, TV, ensuite shower etc.

Central macau is just like any chinese city except the fact that it has loads of portuguese churches and tiled streets - just like my mum's home town in portugal. it was really layed back compared to hong kong which was good and on our second day we did a walking tour of the peninsula and there was barely any people around which was bliss.

Nights out in macau were wicked. the first day we went to a portuguese restaurant then walked along the bar strip which was empty due to the opening of teh new fisherman's warf. our main aim that night was to catch the spurs and arsenal games so we went to a bar where we got 6 beers each, put in a bucket because happy hour was ending and they put the channel on whatever we wanted and we watched spurs beat the hammers 4-0 (!) and arsenal draw 0-0 to WIGAN (hahahahahaha). after we left the bar we started to go home but then we heard this pounding bass so we were like LETS GO THERE! we got in in and there were lots of people but as u tend to find in china, not many were dancing, obviously me and pierre got our moves on and the ladies started flocking to the dancefloor, followed by the guys. i went to the toilet and some guy said 'hi!' and i was like alright mate. then he followed me to the dancefloor and i was like ok... then he starts point to his nose and sniffing and making crazy dance movements trying to imitate me and i was like no, no i'm slightly drunk - 6 beers, half a jug of sangria - and the spurs just won 4-0 (!) then this guy pulls out a baggy of coke, and i'm like WTF! put it away, put it away, i dont wanna go to jail for the rest of my life! then i started dancing with some girls. i got with some cute chinese girl with big boobies and pierre got off with the drunkest girl in china, fact. she started saying to him GO HOME GO HOME, and then to me GO HOME, GO HOME. and then she would point at all three of us and say go home go home and we were like no thanks we dont want to take our friendship to the next level just yet. on the way home we saw her again and she saw i wasn't with my girl and she shouts out NO GIRL WITH YOU HAHAHAHA. oh yeh pierre wants me to add that he taught chinese boys how to dance (cut shapes).

the second night we went to a place the book recommended but it was closed, so we just sat in the seats outside and had some ridiculously heated argument about football about which resulted in me storming off to the club we went to the night before (which happened to be next door). the same jokes of the night before didnt repeat but there was the same croud and the same pounding bass. sick one.

I love Macau, Macau is my Llubjana.